A Healthy, Loving Relationship
It’s been a long time, but I feel compelled to write again. It’s a creative outlet for me and I miss it so much. I stopped blogging because I was busy being a mom and wife, and because I honestly felt I had said everything I needed to about love and men and relationships.
Today, I want to write about my relationship with my husband because I feel it’s a type of love that is becoming so rare.
We have a dynamic that is so complimentary and lovely. He cherishes and adores me, and I respect him and shower him with my loving, soft sensual energy. It works!
Now, in light of the Barbie movie, I do have to say that the way I live my life is 100% my choice because it feels right for me. I used to be a boss babe, and I wouldn’t change that experience. It felt right at the time and satisfied me. I had a big career and made all the decisions and had a feminine man.
The point of Barbie is that a woman can be whoever she wants to be, and it will probably be different versions over time. In this phase of my life, this is my choice. I love that I have been able to honor myself and be a feminine woman (soft on the outside, strong on the inside).
So, back to my point. I know I usually write about what I do in my relationship that works, but what “I don’t do” is equally important to note. Let me break it down here for you to give you deeper insight into how I created a healthy loving relationship:
I do not criticize or belittle (emasculate) my husband.
I do not hold feelings in and let them build resentment. If the feelings are my past triggers (80% of the time), I process them on my own. If my feelings are from the present moment (20% of the time), I communicate without blame and accept his attempt to repair the issue even if I have to give up on being absolutely right. Over the years, I realized no one is ever completely right. Each person is just perceiving issues from their own lens.
This is similar to above - I do not make him feel guilty or responsible for my emotions. I know that I am responsible for myself. I choose how I perceive a situation, and I choose my reaction and how to communicate.
I do not make my man feel “not good enough.” More times than not, he feels like he can make me happy and is winning with me. This is an art a woman masters! 💕
I do not dismiss his ideas and opinions. I make sure he knows that I respect them. I try my best to respect them unless I deeply feel a different way.
I do not blame him for my triggers or problems. I know triggers are from the past and always amplify themselves, twisting the present moment into a darker version of what it really is.
I never accuse him of being unfaithful or cheating. I do not expend my Goddess energy on speculation or fearful imaginings. I know in my heart, I am worthy of a loyal man and if he were to ever betray my trust, I would just walk away no matter what.
I do not use guilt, aggression, or manipulation to get my way. I am aware that in a healthy relationship two people can have different experiences, and I don’t always have to be right or get my way. I just need to have my feelings heard and cherished.
I do not communicate with aggression or raise my voice or speak disrespectfully. I don’t battle my man to be right. I just want to have my feelings cherished and have my man try to please me, as he feels inspired to protect and provide.
I don’t act like an independent woman that can do it all on my own. I allow him to feel needed by me.
I know some of the things above were repetitive, but that is because they are so important. This is my rule book for my relationship, and I am here to tell you it works beautifully.
My strong, masculine, hard-working husband worships me and loves me with all his heart. I give him a beautiful experience of what a life filled with love and beauty and sensuality can be. Together, we gift our children and family and the world by showing everyone what good deep love looks like.
My blog is another example of how I share my gift to the world. I hope this helps women know there is a way to be in a relationship and be happy and feel good.
Malena xoxo
Email me for more info: theartoflovingaman@gmail.com
Insta: @artoflovingaman