Being a Vulnerable Feminine Woman
Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/@jonathanborba
Hello Goddesses,
Today, I want to write about the origin of the negative “Story” you keep telling yourself about your man or men and relationships in general. Where does this story come from? “The Story” usually sounds something like this.
He doesn’t want me
He is going to leave me
He doesn’t think I’m beautiful
He doesn’t want to spend time with me
He doesn’t want to make love to me
He rather be with someone else
He is not romantic anymore because he probably doesn’t care
He doesn’t care how I feel because I am not a priority
He doesn’t want to cherish my feelings because he doesn’t care
All women have this voice/story in their head at some point. It is the voice of fear. Some have it more than others. It is as if our feminine DNA is always in survival mode, scouting out threats and making sure we are constantly protected, nourished, and cherished. We are like prey animals constantly on the lookout for something that will hurt us. If this feels like you, take a deep breath and relax. There is a way out. These stories have a root cause.
“We are like prey animals constantly on the lookout for something that will hurt us”
I believe it is the disconnection we have from our own inner divine source that causes us to be so scared inside and create these stories. We are vulnerable women under constant threat when we are disconnected from our divine source. The world feels like it is going to eat us alive. Now yes, some women have built armor and big shields to manage this fear, but they don’t make it any less true. The reality is we blame it on men and make them responsible.
“We are vulnerable women under constant threat when we are disconnected from our divine source”
Men and the love, affection, presence, and safety they bring are a coping mechanism for this existential threat. They help temper this vulnerability and need. They try, but no man can fill this void as deeply, completely, and consistently as we need.
Try this - every time you are upset with your man, take a moment to go within. The healing is in the pause and inner focus and realizing you are out of synch with your divine source of love and safety. Take a pause and feel your inner energies. Feel the energies tightening around your heart and chest. Relax and let go and connect to your heart. This acceptance of and turning inward towards the pain connects you back to yourself and divinity. This refocusing will calm the stories and soften their edges.
From this place remind yourself - he (your man) is not your original problem. He is exacerbating it, but its origins lie within you. Relax, feel, take a breath, and let go. Then, with as much self-awareness, self-responsibility, and softness as you can muster, come to him with your experience.
I feel scared…
I feel lonely…
I feel angry…
No blame, attack, or criticism. Just you as a girl (woman) feeling the fear.
Most men that love well will have their warrior instincts activated and try to help you. Try to make your experience as a vulnerable feminine woman a little easier. You must not fight his gifts though. However a man shows up for you is what he has to offer. Accept or reject but don’t try to change him. Instead, appreciate his efforts and he will likely step up even more over time.
Be soft, Be kind, Love deeply
Malena xoxo
theartoflovingaman.com
@artoflovingaman