Connection Instead Of Conflict
The other day I did something different when I was triggered. I OPENED up instead of closing my heart! I was hurt and a bit angry with my husband ( El Guapo) and I wanted to RESIST and defend myself. Instead, I pushed past my resistance and used my will power to stay open energetically. In turn, this helped me to not engage in the same old fearful patterns of behavior that I always use when I am triggered.
So there I was painfully open and looking for a new behavior to match this vulnerability. Luckily, I heard a soft voice whispering in my mind. It said, “feminine energy is soothing, like a warm blanket.” With this, I sat on the bed and softly touched El Guapo on the shoulder and caressed his neck. He immediately responded by turning toward me and opening up about how difficult it is to deal with his stress.
“Feminine energy is soothing, like a warm blanket”
There it was….the CONNECTION instead of the ongoing conflict!! This should be the goal of all communication in a relationship. Everything changed in this moment. It was no longer about what I was not getting from him. It now became more about what I could give to him and the relationship. I was aware of my trigger. With a breath of fire I dispelled its negative force. I became available and of service to love instead of a blind servant to my fearful energies. Oh, how refreshing it was. It felt freeing! It felt like the ultimate expression of feminine energy - warmth, softness, compassion and loving communication.
“I became available and of service to love”
Let me say that the switch from closing down and defending yourself to opening your heart and giving love can be very difficult. The gravitational pull of negative energy is very strong. You will not be able to fight this pull if you have not processed some of your triggered energy. That is why all success in love begins inside of you. I feel like a broken record, but I can’t stress this point enough. You can try to change yourself by meditating, thinking positively, eating healthy or any other way. Yet, if you do not dissolve your old emotional pain you will always act out in the same way when you get upset with your man. Since I have spent many years dissolving my old energy, I was available that day to offer my masculine man my soft loving energy instead of more conflict. At that moment I could see how his anger dissolved and he became enlivened by my love. Our conflict melted in an instant and our hearts connected. It was magic! Now it’s your turn to try it! Be brave. 💕
Much Love,
Malena xoxo
For one-on-one Relationship Coaching services, contact me at: theartoflovingaman@gmail.com
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