Keeping Your Heart Open

What is your emotional trigger? Is it abandonment, rejection, acceptance, respect, being right, attention, control, freedom, predictability, being included etc… ? Whatever your trigger is, you can bet it is at the heart of your relationship problems. As I have repeated many times the key to healing your triggers is to become aware of when the negative energy takes over you. At that moment you must become present to the sensations in your body and witness your thoughts. The light of your presence (attention) dissolves your triggers. Yet, this process can take time. So what do you do in the moment when you are face to face with your man and he says or does something that sets off your trigger? Like I often tell my clients, do as little as possible. Breathe, relax and if needed make an “I feel statement.” For example, “I feel sad we are apart” or “I feel butterflies in my stomach because things are uncertain” and that is it! Do not expect your man to fix it or do something. The work is between you and you. You must sink into the feeling in order to release it. We cannot control people and we cannot expect our men to always make us feel loved and wanted. The only thing we can do is release this energy so it does not hold power over us. Let’s take this even one step further. The more difficult work is to transcend the flow of negative thoughts and emotions and continue to give love to your man. True intimacy is feeling triggered and keeping your heart open in the midst of this struggle. That means not withdrawing, attacking or becoming the victim. This is super hero sh*# if you ask me. lol! Seriously it is very deep spiritual practice. To keep your heart open and continue to let love flow outward to your man, in the midst of pain and ego crazed thinking, is nothing short of a miracle. Yet, once you do it you will see the results it brings. Your man will not withdraw and you will connect with his heart. You will realize there is a way out of the craziness of painful relationships. Everyday I remind myself that I seek liberation from the struggle in my mind and heart and vow to the universe that I am willing to do the difficult work for this love. It is the Goddess way!

Much Love Comrades! ;)

Malena