FEEL YOUR FEELINGS

Photo by, Lizzy Newman

            Have you ever really stopped to think about how capable you are of feeling your feelings (the good ones and the bad ones)? I once read that in order to feel your good feelings you must also know how to feel you’re not so good feelings. So a better questions is - Do you know how to feel your bad/negative/dark feelings?

            When I was first asked this question I immediately answered yes, because I knew how to scream, accuse and get angry. Little did I know that these things were just a cover up. Your feelings are actually physical sensations in your body. They serve as signals to you that something is wrong (or right). In regards to negative feelings, if you do not know how to feel and process these sensations the energy will rise up into your head and take over your thinking. Eckhart Tolle, author of The Power of Now,  calls this negative energy the “pain body.”

            So how do you transform negative feelings (aka pain body)? Well, you have to bring your focus/awareness/attention into the physical sensations in your body. If you feel sad - stop, focus on your body and witness what is happening and where it hurts. It is this witnessing that allows the energy to move/transform and become unstuck. This energy is waiting for you to put the spotlight on it so it can move. Once this energy moves it does not seep in and take over your mind and you become free one feeling at a time. You focus on the physical sensations, then relax and take a deep breath and release. You do this over and over again until it gets easier. It is going to hurt. It might even feel like you are going to die, but you do it anyway. Once you become comfortable feeling the pain, you are free.

            How does this affect your relationship? Well, you will soon start to see your relationship get easier. Your thoughts will begin to be more loving, calm and gentle. This allows you to be a great partner in a relationship because you do not point the finger at the other person, yelling at them to change or obsessing about how they should change. It’s not about them. It’s first about you and your relationship to your internal world and the pain that is stuck inside you. Our relationships exist to be guide posts showing us where our healing work is. Our relationships will only mirror back to us the pain that is already inside of us. When you do this work, your man will think you are a safe haven because he unconsciously knows you can handle your feelings and you are in control of your internal world. A man finds a woman in control of her emotions irresistible.  

            By getting more in touch with the negative feelings you become more open to the positive feelings. You can sense the warm breeze on your face as it feels like warm honey. You can smell a beautiful flower and feel your heart burst open. You can see a child playing and feel a light, airy feeling in your belly. You become a Goddess! Then you bring these joyful feelings to your man. You talk about them and you describe them to him. You lift back the veil and let him peek inside the sensual, joyful world of being a woman. He will be delighted. He will soak up the energy and stand in awe as he watches you touch the core of life. He will cherish and worship you because you are his link to the mystical feminine.