The Art of Loving a Man ~ Connecting With His Heart

ART: MARY BLAIR

I have come to realize that The Art of Loving a Man is about authenticity and vulnerability. This means a Goddess must know the energies of her own heart with all it's twists and turns. She must know the depth of her own darkness and the heights she can soar to. For a woman feelings can be overwhelming and scary and pushing them down and pretending can be much easier. Yet, she must learn the ways of her own heart so that she can open up and connect to her man. She also must know this so she can communicate in a gentle way the feelings that arise in her (both good and bad). The reason she must communicate her feelings in a real and vulnerable way is so a man can experience her as an emotional creature and therefore access his own emotions in her presence. Swimming in the world of feelings and emotions (not drama and emotional intensity) is scary for a man, but it is what connects him to a Goddess and it is this connection that he secretly yearns for. A man is not whole until he experiences emotional connection.  The more I study relationships and love the more I realize that we all need a safe space to express ourselves without judgment. This is the space where real love is created. See article below by my mentor Relationship Queen - Rori Raye.

Much Love, 

Malena

Get Your Man to Open Up

By Rori Raye

The Shocking Reason Men Don’t Share Their Feelings (And How To Get Your Man To Open Up)

Have you ever pretended that everything was OK, or felt afraid to tell a man how angry you were because you didn’t want to rock the boat? If so, then you probably believe the cliché that men hate talking about feelings. You’ve come to accept that it’s a normal thing for men—they were just born that way.

Unfortunately, believing this myth prevents you from ever truly connecting with a man.
The truth is that men want and are able to open up and share —especially with a woman — but it all depends on how a man feels in her presence. A man doesn’t like emotional intensity or hidden tension. That kind of “drama”pushes a man away and makes him want to clam up and withdraw.
In order to feel comfortable, a man needs to know that he’s safe with you. He’ll feel safe when he sees that you are in touch with your feelings and able to express them in a clear, non-judgmental way.
You can make any man feel safe enough to be honest and open with you by taking these steps:

Step 1: Stop pretending

Pretending to feel confident or stuffing down negative emotions in order to avoid conflict is absolutely the wrong approach. It will make a man feel uneasy around you because he’ll sense that you’re pretending. If he feels uneasy, he can’t be honest with you about what he’s feeling.
This is why trying to look confident when you don't feel confident doesn't work. Or, why pretending you don't care — when it's eating at you — doesn't work. A man will sense you’re pretending and it will push him away.
Instead, allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic.

Learn How to Get Your Man to Open Up

Step 2: Share your feelings without making him responsible

So how do you allow yourself to be vulnerable and authentic, when you feel like a confused, angry pile of insecurities?
You do it by sharing your feelings without making him responsible to fix them for you.
The next time you’re tempted to tell a man what to do or tell him what you think — stop yourself.
Go with what’s going on inside you. Feel your heart beat, your stomach gurgle, your chest tighten because you’re frustrated.
Feel yourself getting giddy or anxious because you don’t know what to say.
Feel the most concrete, real, simple thing you can, and communicate that. Say “I’m really sad right now,” rather than “I think you spend too much time at work.”
This kind of authenticity is the missing piece that we never learned as children. We learned how to get along, how to influence others, how to look and do good, but we never learned how to even make contact with what we really feel—much less ever say it simply and without judgment and criticism.
A woman who can say what she feels—simply, directly, passionately, and with energy and conviction—will find her man opening up to her in ways she never imagined.