So this split mind thing is funny, once you get a hang of it . There is the you that is constantly struggling with sh*# and then there is the part of your mind that is watching you struggle. WTF! Let me update you on my letting go process with El Guapo (husband). As I mentioned in an earlier post, there is something El Guapo is doing that is driving me crazy. It is not a deal breaker by any means. It’s just an issue he has. His behavior is setting off emotional triggers in me like crazy. It feels like fireworks on the 4th of July in my stomach. My inability to control the situation is making me neurotic on a good day. So literally for a week I have been having a standoff with the 2 parts of my mind ( awareness/observer and ego/drama). It’s like the old western movies with the cowboys and the guns.

I have the part of me that wants to dive into the drama like a wild woman and the Zen Master in me saying, don’t even think about itI I have worked long and hard enough that I am able to not let the trigger and negative story pull me down. Yet, there is still a standoff.

“I have the part of me that wants to dive into the drama like a wild woman and the Zen Master in me saying, don’t even think about it”

So while they are having a standoff, I am pausing and letting go by doing body work. This is how it goes,

3 sec count breathe in
hold for 3
put attention on bodily sensations and feel pain (usually chest or stomach) and let go with 3 sec count breathe out

That’s all there is to it. Feel the pain to release the negative pattern.

I realized the issue I am having is the same issue I had in my last relationship, therefore this work is vital toward healing. In addition, I get the added value of not controlling an uncontrollable man. El Guapo is a VERY masculine man and these type of men do not tolerate women scolding them or dictating how they should deal with their issues. I can nag and lecture until I am blue in the face, but all that will do is make me his mother and that is not good for sexy time.

Mother = Non-Attraction

Another thing I have in my toolbox is my imagination. I use my imagination to envision what I would like to happen instead. I envision a life where this particular issue is not happening. I imagine what I want to happen. This floods me with good feelings that I use to make myself feel better and if the law of attraction thing really works it puts me in the right vibration. Either way I feel better in the moment.

So during your healing journey you will figure out what your repetitive negative issues are and you will find your particular way of feeling your pain, letting go and developing your observer mind. Things will get easier and the way you manage issues in your relationship will be way less dramatic. Your man will start to notice. He will feel better around you and become more in love with your light hearted energy and the light in your soul. His gut will tell him you are emotionally safe to be in a relationship with and his commitment buttons will be pushed. Moreover, he will start to do things to keep you around and he will love to make you happy. One day, you will even notice that your life looks very different and it has been awhile since you had any problems. ;) Until then, get to work on your stuff! It’s up to you to turn your love life around.

Much Love,

Malena

For personal coaching email me at - theartoflovingaman@gmail.com

or call/text 818-425-9735, I will respond within 24hrs.