Surrender To Love
Photo by Kristina Carrillo-Bucaram @fullyrawkristina
Hello Goddesses,
As I sit here thinking of what I can add to this blog to help women become the Goddesses they were meant to be, I think of surrender. Surrender means letting go of all the mental and emotional defenses that one has built over the many years to protect their hearts from hurt.
Since we were little girls, many of us faced big painful feelings we couldn’t handle and in turn, we built walls around our hearts and turned our soft places hard. We eventually learned to not trust love and instead control the world around us as to not cause more pain. We buried our hearts under piles of sadness, resentments, disappointments, and anger. We lost touch with our feminine essence as young women because it hurt too much to stay open and have those painful feelings we stuffed down rise and swallow us whole.
“We built walls around our hearts and turned our soft places hard”
As we matured, we wandered out into the world looking for a man to love us through our armor. Whether that armor revealed itself as codependent neediness or defensive coldness does not matter. Its goal was to protect us, yet it blocked us from the intimacy and connection that we so craved.
We stood before countless men and challenged and/or silently begged them to help us open the closed down parts of our tender soul. Yet, they failed each time because it was never their job to do it in the first place. The riddle was that we blamed them, but we had the key in our pocket and didn’t even know it.
After many failed relationships or tons of painful moments with the same man, we felt hopeless and lost and out of control. We posed the questions to ourselves - “How do I embody this feminine Goddess energy that everyone speaks of?” and “How do I surrender and flow when I feel like my heart lives in a cage?“ Deep inside, we feel like slaves to our defensive mental stories about love and our unresolved emotions of the past.
“The riddle was that we blamed them, but we had the key in our pocket and didn’t even know it”
Today, I gently offer some guidance as always. My advice is that you begin or continue to uncover your feminine, soft heart slowly with love and willingness! You stop looking for your savior outside of yourself and allow the savior to be you. You buckle down, get real with yourself, and unpack all the old beliefs you have about men, trust, dating, and love. You take stock of those thoughts and you disengage them relentlessly each hour and each day. (The gentler, softer thoughts will come if you make room.)
You learn to somatically feel and bear witness to what you never could feel long ago. You open your heart, even when it hurts, and let all those old pains rush up and out of you for good. You sit with this pain until it simmers out of your bones and transmutes back into energy that is love, light, and joy - the real you
“You sit with this pain until it simmers out of your bones”
You take accountability for the way in which you sabotage real intimacy. You push yourself through discomfort to do and think something different. You surrender yourself to your own love and let yourself become the next higher version of yourself.
It can be painful and scary to change but a true Goddess has no choice. She would rather stand in the flames of fire than stay stuck in a closed world of her own making that turns her cold, hopeless, and deadened inside.
Life was meant to feel good. We were meant to be feminine and love and glow and feel the beauty of surrendering to life and to love.
Life will not rest until it pushes you to the edge, forcing you to use your pain as a transformative tool to reach a higher state of being.
“We were meant to be feminine and love and glow”
Then you can rest, relax, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. Then, you will attract a good compatible man who you can mesmerize with your open, soft heart. This is when you can allow a good man to worship you, work for you, love you, and please you. It will feel natural, and every fiber of your being will know you deserve it because of how hard you worked to get here.
Much Love,
Malena xoxo
Instagram: @artoflovingaman