Dream Bigger!

@beautiful.berries

I was coaching a client the other day, and she was analyzing a man’s behavior, trying to determine if he might be more serious about her. I gently stopped her and told her to stop trying to figure it out and dream bigger. I told her to imagine having a man that was clear and direct with how he felt about her and his plans for their future. She seemed stunned for a moment. It did not dawn on her that this was even an option.

“…stop trying to figure it out and dream bigger”

Yet, before she can really dream big about a romantic partner, she must deeply believe she is deserving of great love. You see, we get what we believe we deserve. If you really take an honest look at your life, you will see this truth. You get crumbs from men because you believe that is all you deserve.

“…we get what we believe we deserve”

Now you must be thinking, “how do I learn to feel deserving of more?” You do this by unpacking all the painful energy of the past you have within you. This old, disturbed energy is running your life and keeping you stuck in feelings of unworthiness. You feel unworthy because you know you do not have anything deeply to offer a good man. You just know you need to be rescued from your pain. You need his love, attention, and energy to fulfill you and to use as a distraction to help you avoid dealing with the painful energies of the past (abandonment, neglect, betrayal, shame).

“You need his love, attention, and energy to fulfill you”

You must transmute these lower energies (“transmute” - to change in form, nature, or substance). Transmuting energy means you FOCUS your consciousness, FEEL the pain, and use your WILLPOWER to let it come up. You use your will to let this energy naturally flow up. If you allow this natural process, these energies will transmute themselves back into light or high frequency energy (AKA love). When this happens, bit by bit, you become fed by the love of spirit/universe and you can enjoy life. You no longer use life or relationships to avoid your pain. You change the entire purpose of your relationship.

When you release these painful energies, you become a vessel of love and you offer light and warmth to a good man. This is when you have a change of identity, which is SO important! You no longer are a woman with an empty space to fill. You are a goddess, a queen, an enchantress with a heart and mind of light and love. You are of service to love. Fully available to shine, encourage, and support a man to be the best he can be. You no longer are a beggar. You are WORTHY because you have something magical to give. A man will do anything for a woman like this. When a man finds a woman who does her inner work, he is mesmerized by her strength and beauty inside and out.

“You no longer are a beggar”

Men want deeply to give of themselves, both heart and soul, yet they do not want the headaches and drama that comes with a woman who has not done her own emotional and spiritual work. They do not want to be blamed for her disturbing energies of the past that come raging into the present moment. Of course, this doesn’t mean there are never conflicts to be worked out. There will always be. It’s just the intensity and the way in which things get worked out is much smoother, calm and loving. Men want a woman who is independent of her own emotional baggage. She does not let herself get dragged down by her own darker emotions. She is a warrior princess. She is soft and vulnerable, yet strong and brave in facing her own darkness.

“Men want deeply to give of themselves, both heart and soul”

Again, I always direct women back to themselves. I direct them to focus on their inner emotional work as their top priority. The feeling of worthiness will come if you follow this path. Just stay dedicated and strong. Remember, in every woman lies a Goddess. You just need to clear the blockages to set her free.

Much Love,

Malena xoxo

artoflovingaman.com

Instagram: @artoflovingaman