My Monkey Mind

I woke up this morning and decided I am not going to listen to the noise (aka thoughts) in my head! From the moment I opened my eyes my thoughts started racing like horses at a race track. Racing with thoughts about work, kids and my husband. My mind is constantly making up problems, finding people to attack and then trying to solve everything. Today I have decided not to participate.

“I woke up this morning and decided I am not going to listen to the noise (aka thoughts) in my head!”

Let me explain what has lead me to this point. My whole life I have been tormented by love and relationships. I really never had much energy or time to invest in anything else. It’s a miracle I made it through college.  As far back as I can remember I have never known peace of mind. My mind solves one problem (usually related to a man in my life) and just picks up another. Five years ago, I embarked on a quest to heal my love life. This led me to the realization that the journey was actually spiritual. During this spiritual journey I learned that my mind is my biggest enemy. When my heart sets fire and there is a triggering event in my relationship, my mind takes off and pulls me with it on a road that is dark, negative and full of chaos. A wise spiritual guru once told me the only way out of this mess was to understand that I am not the thoughts in my head. I am the observer of those thoughts.

“A wise spiritual guru once told me the only way out of this mess was to understand that I am not the thoughts in my head”

This was one of those aha moments for me! He also told me that the more I can create distance between my thoughts and the observer (the authentic me/higher self) the more control I would have to not go where my  negative thoughts want to take me. For the record, you still have to feel your painful feelings there is no way to avoid that. So as I practiced all my wonderful relationship/Goddess skills this one particular practice always seemed to be more important than the others. I believe it was the foundation allowing me to learn the true art of leaning back.  My mind would say, “he is not calling because he doesn’t want you” and where before I would panic and get desperate, now I paused and witnessed the thought. Was this the absolute truth or just my negative emotional story? Hmmmm… Half the time it was my old dramatic story creeping in. This act of witnessing my thoughts has been difficult, but very rewarding. It is a central practice in being a Goddess. It is the key that makes a woman intimate with herself and attracts intimacy from a man (Remember relationships are mirrors of the self). It makes a woman less reactive and allows her to have compassion for her man. It makes a woman calm and able to keep her heart open in the midst of pain. So lately my mind has been on a rampage and I simply choose not to listen. I feel better here in the observer perch where things are warm, cozy and safe. I wonder what would happen if I lived up here more then down there with my monkey mind? I am going to try it and see what happens.

Much Love,

Malena

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