Letting Go

I watched a documentary yesterday entitled “I am Maris.” It was a about a 17 yr old girl who suffers from anxiety and an eating disorder. She ends up turning to Yoga, which gives her a sense of inner peace and calm. In the documentary one of Maris’s Yoga teachers reads her blog and comments on how good it is. She advises her to talk more about the real struggles she faces internally. It was a very inspiring story and reminded me of the importance of having a personal connection with readers of my blog. I felt inspired today to write more about my personal relationship and how I work through my struggles. So here it goes. If you are familiar with my blog you know I refer to my husband as “El Guapo.” So El Guapo and I are coming up on 7 years together and 2 years married this September 2019. The first 3 years together he was a EUM (emotionally unavailable man) and I was a needy love addict hot mess. My blog is all about the tools I used to turn myself around which ultimately created the environment for him to change also. So where is our relationship today you might ask? Well, I am not going to lie. It is wonderful and without a doubt I deserve it after all my hard work! Yet, I want to be real, so I will also share that there are struggles also. One of the things I struggle with the most is control. I want to control EVERYTHING sometimes. Yet, feminine women let their men learn from their own mistakes. Like relationship coach, Pat Allen, says,

“Let nature teach him and stop acting like his mother”

So in one area of life El Guapo is still figuring it out and it is really hard for me to not intervene. Now please note, I don’t have to call a doctor, police man or lawyer so it’s okay for me to let El Guapo figure it out on his own. The problem is that I feel I know better and can direct him to do better! Yet, if you are deep in feminine energy practice you know that to direct a masculine man to do it your way is death to the relationship. So I sit back, relax and focus on letting go. I use my spiritual practice of patience and non resistance to let life unfold without me using all my energy trying to direct it myself. Today I woke up at 6:45 am full of anxiety and the first thing I did was focus on my breathing and body. I thought about what would make me feel good and got out of bed. I made a warm, sweet cup of coffee, kissed my puppy and put on my new Yoga pants ( I don’t do Yoga lol). I sat on the cozy couch, texted my goddess girlfriend, lit a candle and put on my favorite lipstick. I kept reminding myself to drop my thoughts and ground myself by focusing on my breathe and body. Soon the anxiety dissipated and I could feel the flow of clear, fresh energy streaming through my body again. Awwww… I was back to being present, not triggered and able to let go of the need to control. This will make all the difference when El Guapo calls me. Instead of creating drama I will be able to be soft and supportive. This allows him to figure it out on his own. I decided to share my morning with you all to let you know that the emotional work continues long after you get your EUM to commit, after you get married and even when you live a fairy tale life. I will keep everyone posted on my letting go process and how things unfold.

Much Love,

Malena

For personal coaching email me at - theartoflovingaman@gmail.com

or call/text 818-425-9735

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