The Untamed Mind = Emotionally Unavailable Man

Photo Mystic Mamma

Quote By Katarina Phang:
”Communicating your needs before he's where you're at emotionally = pressure.  Rotation works better than "communication" cause your "communication" is nothing but trying to fix him and it never works.  High-value women understand this instinctively that trying to fix a man or a relationship never works to their advantage.  They only focus on their own happiness cause when they're happy likelihood is the relationship will fix itself or someone better will come along.”

Hello Ladies,

So I am still listening to Katarina Phang’s youtube videos and I am still finding gems of wisdom in her teachings. One of the things Katarina and I agree on is that the solution to a woman’s relationship problems is found in her inner healing which then manifests as solutions in her outer world. I admire how Katarina is not afraid to tell women that they are at the core of their own problems. She tells women they need to look at themselves and their unresolved issues instead of always blaming the men in their life. Katarina is not afraid to tell women that it is their unresolved issues, untamed mind, masculine chasing tendencies and constant leaning forward that causes men to be emotionally unavailable while in a relationship with them. In other words they scare men into withdrawing or fleeing. I have often wanted to tell my clients this directly, but thought it might be too harsh. I love that Katarina makes no apologies and tells women this directly. Maybe that is what women need to hear - that they are also responsible for the side of a man they see. This idea strikes a deep cord with me because I know first hand how it works. While my husband and I were dating he was ridiculously non-committed and emotionally unavailable. When I look back at this time I was a hot mess, but thought he was the main problem. I was clingy, neurotic with thoughts of abandonment and rejection. I was jealous and impatient. I was controlling and demanding. If you are familiar with psychology I was a “Love Addict” and he was a “Love Avoidant.” Then I had a spiritual awakening and realized my healing was not in trying to get my boyfriend to do what I needed, but rather in healing my own mind. Once I moved forward on this path (making my inner healing a priority) I stopped focusing on him. Soon I began to act and feel differently. My energy was lighter. I was warmer, softer, more patient, more open, more inviting, more playful, less defensive, less needy, more independent, more sexy…. and on and on. This is when my then boyfriend made such a dramatic shift that I knew this was how relationships heal and change. My new motto was “Woman Heal Thyself First.” This new understanding coincided with what a very important spiritual teacher told me,

“Relationships are mirrors. They are meant to mirror back to you the neurotic patterns in your own mind (aka unresolved issues)”

So ladies what I am trying to say is that the work is always on you. When you heal, your man will either shift and become in alignment with your new loving energies or you will lose interest in him. It is a win win! So as Katarina says “Wake Up and Become Aware!” Your goal is to look with awareness at what triggers you and what makes you feel offended and upset. Then learn to feel those emotions and let them pass with detachment. Detach from the crazy mind that wants you to act on those emotions. Start to cultivate the higher part of your mind that is pure love. When you create space between the higher loving mind and the chaotic mind you can then sit back as the witness and watch it, but not act from it! This is what makes you a Goddess and draws in a good man that is more than willing to create a loving relationship with you. I did it and I am living it everyday with disciplined practice. I promise you it works.

Much Love,

Malena

For personal coaching email me at - theartoflovingaman@gmail.com.

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