Don't Just Dump Your Feelings on Him

Hello Wonderful Readers,

My blog posts are going to be far and few between for the next 6 months due to wedding planning!!!! I never thought I'd get here, but with lots of determination to heal, change in thinking and tons of discipline I will be marrying the love of my life and the hottest most masculine man in the world! Well, at least I think so. With that said, I have decided to share a bit of work by a Relationship Coach/Author that changed my world - Dr. Pat Allen. She is the author of several great books and has a weekly online radio show on L.A. Talk Radio. The excerpt below is from her book, "Staying Married and Loving It - How to get what you want from your man with out asking." See below. 

Much Love,

Malena.

DON'T JUST DUMP YOUR FEELINGS ON HIM:

(excerpts below from Dr. Pat Allen’s book - “Staying Married and Loving It” page 94-95)

If you choose to be the feminine energy partner, never tell a negative feeling to your masculine energy man unless you're willing to follow his solution, give your solution and ask his thoughts on it, or tell him you don't need his help. Of course that often triggers a feeling of impotence in him. It's frustrating for him to hear a problem and not be allowed to solve it.....

A protective masculine energy man automatically gives a solution to his feminine energy woman who is in pain, and expects her at least to consider it. (A feminine energy woman who resents her masculine energy man's giving solutions only wants to live in the problem or have him do what it takes to make her happy without his participation.)....

Receiving as many ideas from your man as he can give allows you to make better decisions. When a feminine woman is with a man whose brains she respects, it's appropriate to glean his opinions. But it isn't appropriate to use his ideas as directives to be followed.....

Masculine energy men have a natural tendency to give help, protect loved ones, and cherish their feelings, as long as they feel respected and needed. Dumping your negative feelings and requiring him just to listen and not solve your problem is like chaining a guard dog during a robbery.