CONFESSIONS OF A GODDESS IN TRAINING
This posting is a little different in that it was created by a guest blogger. I would like to introduce a wonderful woman and amazing Goddess, Kayla. See her wonderful insights below.
Enjoy!
Malena
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CONFESSIONS OF A GODDESS IN TRAINING
By Guest Blogger, Kayla
Around the end of July last year, I went through one of the hardest break-ups of my life. We were so in love and I was preparing to move out of the country to be with him when I suddenly found myself no longer one of two. It felt like my heart was ripped out, stomped on and sent to the shredder (yes, that dramatic ha!). The mere mention of him would have waterfalls gushing from my eyes.
Searching for some direction and guidance, I turned to one of my dearest friends who over the course of us having lost touch transformed her relationship into something so beautiful that would make those Disney princesses jealous. She has been my Mr. Miyagi of relationships and boy did I need some major work. So these are my little "Ah Ha" moments and stumbles along the way during my Goddess training. WAX ON!
It seems like the main lesson these past few months has been "Allowing" and Letting Go". Easier said than done.
A blast from the past recently came back into my life, let's call him J. It had been a few months since I was seeing someone (more like five but who's keeping track?), and I was overly eager to try and practice my new "goddess tools". I felt amazing when I was with him, I was in the moment, light, playful and just having fun being my goofy self and he was showering me with adoration! Life was great!
Then I slept with him, practically right away. Big mistake for me because (goddess and dating rules aside) I wasn’t ready and we hadn't even had an official date yet. A few emotional text messages later proclaiming that I wasn't going to be just a "hook up", the guy couldn't run fast enough. Even though we are still friends, I'm struggling trying to recover from those mistakes. Living in the friend zone was not something that I wanted and I was determined to yield that goddess power and change his mind.
This past weekend, Malena and I got together and she openly shared with me an issue that had come up in her relationship. By the end of our talk, she realized that she had to allow her partner to learn his life lessons and to let go of her control of the situation. Pretty powerful stuff if you ask me, especially when it comes to an emotionally charged situation.
That night while reflecting on her epiphany, I had one as well. What was I doing? I thought I was being a goddess and showing J that I was the most amazing women he had ever met, but I was working too hard at it. That's not what being a Goddess is about! I quickly did the leaning back exercise that relationship coach Rory Raye teaches and that's when I felt how much energy I had been propelling at him.
Even though I want us to be in a romantic relationship, I can't convince anyone to want to be with me. I can always be his friend and I can always be a goddess in his presence, but I have to allow this relationship to be what it will be and allow him to want something with me on his own, if he ever does. As soon as I let go of that idea and control over the situation, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.
Goddess lesson learned.
Love, Kayla