Stop Pushing Men Away
This is one of my favorite articles by Relationship Coach, Rori Raye. It helped me truly understand how to allow love to come flowing to me while in relationship with my fiancee "El Guapo." With Rori Raye's coaching I was able to learn how to receive from a man and then give back to him. That is the feminine and masculine dance. A man's job is to give and a woman's job is to receive and give back. Think about your current relationship and see who is the one with the pursuing energy? If it is you, gently begin to stop and allow your man to move toward you. He really wants to. He just wants you to put down the oars so he can row the boat for you. When you really get a hang of it, it is beautiful.
Much Love,
Malena
Article below by Rori Raye - www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com
The Surprising Way Women Pursue Men (And Push Them Away)... And How To Get Him To Chase YOU Instead
What does "chasing" a man even LOOK like? Can you be chasing him and not even know it?
These days, after feminism changed the way we looked at our real POWER in this world, our relationships with men got even more confusing:
We started to pursue men the way we pursue work, or our schedules, or errands
We started to make checklists and "get things done"
We started to "think" our way through love instead of FEEL our way through it - and as a result, we've all been practically TRAINED in how to NOT connect with a man's heart!
For instance: If you think you're just being "friendly" with a man by sending him a flirty text or baking him a birthday cake, you could be getting in the way of the kind of courtship you desire...
The Difference Between Showing Interest... And Chasing
When we find ourselves falling for a man, it's normal to start feeling that if we don't show enough interest in him he might get the wrong message and drift away.
We want to make sure he knows we like him. So we might do things like:
Calling him because you heard or read about something interesting, or because you knew there was a great band playing somewhere, or someone told you about some great event that you want to invite him to.
Calling to ask why he hasn't called you.
E-mailing him, texting him, Facebooking him, sending him a cute card, dropping by his house, or in any way attempting to initiate some kind of contact.
Asking him how he feels - especially asking him how he feels about you or the relationship.
Inviting him to come and join you, or in any way acting like the social director of the relationship.
At first glance, these actions might seem completely harmless. In fact, you may feel that he'll just see you as being friendly and want to get closer to you.
But it's important to be cautious when reaching out to a potential romantic interest - especially with repeated messages.
Many men perceive check-ins, invitations, and questions about the relationship as a kind of pressure; or a woman taking on the role of pursuer. Some men may back off their dating efforts when they sense you are assuming a role they view as traditionally male.
Your desire to touch base and get greater clarity into the relationship feels normal to you, and it may usually occur as a good-hearted attempt to stay in touch with a man who has piqued your interest.
But it's important to understand how he might see this activity. In an online dating environment, it is perfectly acceptable to indicate interest in a man.
But after you've had a chance to meet, some men see repeated messages from you as a sign of insecurity - a sign of fear that you'll lose him. He can feel smothered in a way that dampens his desire to get closer to you.
It Pays To Be Patient
I know how frustrating it is to sit back and let a man take the lead.
We want a man to know we're interested in him. We want to make it easy for him to ask us out again. We want to seem enthusiastic and easygoing. And often times this means we inadvertently chase him in the ways described above.
It's true that most men need validation as much as we do. But there's a difference between letting a man know you like him and subtly chasing him.
When you chase a man, you don't give him the chance to show you how he really feels about you. And my experience has shown that the only way to really be sure of where his heart is at is by creating the space he needs to pursue you.
Lure Him, Don't Chase Him
For a man to feel like he wants to get closer to you, he needs to feel good around you. And the way he feels good around you is when he pleases you. As long as you seem happy to see him and tell him how much you enjoy his company, most men will keep coming back for more.
Stay in your feminine energy by being receptive and open to his attention.
When he sees that you're a woman who's secure in herself and doesn't need to pursue him, he'll be encouraged to step up his game so another man doesn't beat him to the chase.
Once you're in a committed relationship with one man, letting him take the lead and continuing to be receptive to him will fuel his passion for you.
He will adore you and appreciate you, and you will be able to relax in the knowledge that you are a desirable creature he'd be a fool to take for granted.
What Truly Brings A Man Close
The truth is - we women have pretty much been trained to not only NOT connect with a man's heart, we've been trained to not connect with our OWN hearts.
And learning how this reconnection feels and looks - and how to USE our incredible skills to "get things done" by "doing" my Tools - gets your masculine "doing" energy in gear to help you become more "feminine" and "feeling" with a man.
It's almost a complete turnaround from everything we women have been taught and are so used to doing.