Trip, Fall and Eat Sh**! - aka The Path to Emotional Maturity
ART: MYSTIC MAMMA
The below excerpt is from relationship God Christian Carter's blog -www.catchhimandkeephim. He hits the nail on the head describing what a real man wants. He says a real man wants an emotionally mature woman. Well that is great, but the most difficult area for any woman to grow in is in the world of emotions. So this can set up a bit of a dilemma. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to kick and scream and only accept things my way in my relationship, but it never gets me the results I want. In fact I end up with a man (my wonderful El Guapo) who is overwhelmed and resentful and withdraws. Expressing emotions should bring a couple closer, not create more distance. It takes a huge amount of emotional maturity to be in a relationship and us women pretty much trip, fall and eat sh** all the way through the growth process. Cheers to us women who give it a try. :)
A Real Man Wants A Woman Who Is "Emotionally Mature"
By Christian Carter
A single, successful, attractive man who has lots of OPTIONS has seen a lot of different things from women in his life:
- He's seen how women flirt
- He's seen his share of how things can go wrong with women in relationships
- He's seen women throw themselves at him
- He's seen how women bring beauty and wisdom into his life in a way he couldn't have seen on his own
And he's also seen women act incredibly needy and unsettled, to where they lose it completely on an emotional level and fall apart right in front of him.
The question is...
Knowing what you know about how some other women can be...
What do you think are the biggest WARNING SIGNS a man has learned to look for in a woman? And what do you think might be the biggest INDICATOR of a healthy and happy woman?
I'll give you a second to think about it.
..
..
Now, knowing how most men think, and hearing over my lifetime how men talk about women and relationships, and where most of the misunderstandings come from... I'll give you a hint.
Both the "red flags" and the greatest positive indicators have to do with the same thing in men's minds. Do you know what it is? I'll tell you...
It's A Woman's EMOTIONS.
The way a woman feels, reacts to, and communicates her own feelings and emotions is the greatest "Make or Break" place in a man's mind.
If a man feels attracted to a woman, enjoys being with her, and they're spending a lot of amazing time together... eventually there's going to be a situation that comes up where you and a man will see something differently and misunderstand each other.
There might also be a time where a man does something that hurts your feelings, or shows that he isn't thinking about you and your feelings.
How will you respond to this? And how will you share your feelings? Will you share with him in a way that will inspire and encourage him to open up to the fact that he might have done something wrong?
Or will you share in a way that he'll receive as BLAME or CRITICISM? (Both of which will encourage a man to either feel ANGRY or WITHDRAW.)
The difference in these 2 choices of how you as a woman respond has everything to do with how YOU deal with and handle the EMOTIONS you have inside yourself.
Do you have the patience and maturity to take the time to get in touch with your own feelings as you're feeling them, and communicate from a place of positive intention?
Or do you feel overwhelmed by your emotions, to where THEY CONTROL YOU... and you do and say things that aren't coming from a place of love or positive intention... but from a place of your own hurt ego?
Using Your Feelings To Attract Him
You as a woman are NOT supposed to be more like a man, and seek to "detach" from your emotions as you feel them. Your feelings are a gift that brings richness to your life and experience. But how do you SHARE your feelings with the man in your life?
Whether or not you recognize it right now, the thing Real Men want most from the woman they're with is to see her simply happy and smiling because of who he is and the good things he does.
Knowing this, what do you think happens when a Real Man who would want more than anything for you to feel happy, loved, and delighted by him and his ACTIONS hears that something he might not have even known would upset you made you feel awful?
That's right. He'll feel frustrated as well, and often take it personally. He'll feel like he can't do things right with you, even though he tries.
This isn't a great feeling for a man to feel in his relationship - and it can eventually drive a man to STOP LISTENING or TRYING if a woman gets upset with him for too many things he can't understand.
If you want a man to know that your relationship is something he wants to last and keep going, then he should feel like it's EASY to know how to:
A) Make you happy
And...
B) NOT upset you accidentally to the point where you lose your cool emotionally and he feels like you "turn on him"
Sharing Your Feelings Without Pushing Him Away
A woman who has the maturity to not BLAME or CRITICIZE a man for what she's feeling, but to share her feelings in an honest and authentic way that helps a man BETTER UNDERSTAND HER... will have a man who is more open than she could imagine any man being with her.
How does the man in your life think about you and how you share your more "difficult" feelings? Does he know and trust that you love him, and that you communicate from a place of LOVE and positive intention?
Or does he RECEIVE what you say and feel like you are BLAMING for him being "wrong" or for being thoughtless or uncaring?
A man, even a great listener who loves you and is patient... will have a tough time remaining open and caring when he feels "attacked" by your hurt feelings. But don't worry, creating the kind of loving and nurturing exchanges and moments you want in your relationship isn't as hard as it sounds.