Emotional Triggers & Energy Work

So El Guapo got called away for work for the year. He will be back 1x per month or I will fly to see him 1x per month. This happened last year also and we made it through by seeing each other 2x a month. The new plan to see each other only 1x per month makes me feel like my organs are going to fall out of my body. He has been gone 3 weeks and it feels like I have a raging fire in my heart. Sorry for the dramatic description of my feelings.

Abandonment is my trigger so you can only imagine where my crazy ego mind wants to take me with this experience. I know he is gone working to be my hero and provider, but triggers can be crazy. When triggered a woman’s mind can take a perfectly normal situation and chop it up, twist it around and create chaos in a situation where none should be. For example, last year while he was away I actually had the thought that maybe he was planning to never come home and he enjoyed living with his male work friends more. WTF? lol!

We have such a beautiful, solid, loving and exciting relationship so I have to laugh at where my mind can take me. So during these last 3 weeks I have actually been dealing very well. I was really sad last week and when he asked me what was wrong I began to gently cry and tell him it was hard to be apart, but I appreciated his hard work. He welcomed the vulnerability and listened and comforted me with sweet words. I made sure not to make him wrong or bad. I also made sure not to expect him to fix it. In those moments when I feel my mind wandering to stories that do not feel good I gently stop the attention flowing to those thoughts and guide my mind back to the moment. In the moment I breathe and let go of any story that triggers me.

I made sure not to make him wrong or bad

I also made sure not to expect him to fix it

My main work is my energy work - I feel the sensations in my body that feel painful. I feel the tightening in my chest and stomach when I feel loss and I feel the burning sensation in my heart when I feel longing. I put attention into my body so my mind loses the energy to create more scary stories. This is how I control my emotions, work through my triggers and stay in my Goddess energy. When I do this I am low drama, vulnerable and able to express myself in a way where El Guapo does not feel threatened. By doing things this way life, love and/or El Guapo always reward me somehow. When I opened my front door this morning I was greeted with a beautiful bouquet of roses mixed with my favorite flower, peonies. There was a love note from El Guapo for Mother’s Day. It was such a romantic and sweet gesture. I felt cherished and loved and grateful for my Goddess work!

Much Love,

Malena