Love And Pain
The more I study relationships and relational dynamics between the Feminine and Masculine the more I realize that wonderful relationships have everything to do with how healed you are inside your own heart and soul. My search for understanding always leads me back to Spirituality. The conflict you have in your relationship is usually old unresolved pain (painbody) and it keeps resurfacing when you get intimate. One author that I have benefited the most from is Eckhart Tolle. He talks about unresolved pain as the painbody. He says that in order to diminsh conflict in your relationship you must gain awareness of your own painbody and when it is activated. I have practiced his teachings and it has made a huge difference for me. See below explanation of how the "painbody" works in relationships. I hope this sparks a light in some of you to begin your own inner journey of awareness. As I always say - Take the focus off of him and put it on you!
The Pain Body in Relationships - article found on www.ascendedrelationships.com
Two people can only get together and stay together if they have an identical or very similar frequency. But what determines our frequency? The Law of Attraction states that your thoughts among other things will determine the frequency you vibrate at any given moment. Your frequency becomes a direct message that you send out to the universe and the universe then reflects your thoughts back to you in terms of what you get to experience in reality. When it comes to relationships thoughts we consciously, subconsciously and unconsciously energize do play a major role in what type relationship we can attract or repel. But what if I told you that there is a hidden force with an even more powerful frequency than your thoughts that negatively affects your frequency, will determine the relationship you attract plus the drama and struggles you will experience in this relationship. For some people it will even prevent them from manifesting a relationship in the first place.
This hidden force has the power to take over you, control your thoughts and put you in a state of unconsciousness where you re-act with pain, suffering, anger or sadness. This hidden force is what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body. The Emotional Pain Body is a field made up of past painful, unresolved and stuck energy that can accumulate and grow in your auric field. All the past painful and traumatic experiences that you haven’t healed, transmuted and completely resolved have conglomerated to make up a bulk of stagnant energy that constantly blocks life force energy currents from flowing through your body and consequently keep you in a state of dis-ease, pain and suffering.
Because of the fact that we have constantly IDENTIFIED with these emotions, thoughts and beliefs of pain and suffering, the Emotional Pain Body has grown to become a past identity of ourselves, to a degree where the pain body thinks it has a life of its own. The pain body however is not an entity (it doesn’t have a soul), its only a fractured part of your soul. Because the energy signature of the pain body is old pain and suffering, these energies cannot sustain themselves or grow by feeding from your Life Force Energy, instead the pain body must feed from energy that resonates with and is very similar to its pain. There are two main sources of food where the pain body can satiate its constant hunger…your negative thoughts and the painful reactions of other people.
The Emotional Pain Body is an energy vampire that has developed mischievous ways to get you into a state of unconsciousness where it can take control of your emotional and mental bodies and cause you to re-act past painful experiences and project them into the present moment, causing more pain. When the pain body becomes activated it will trigger all the negative thoughts that cause you to react with fear, sadness, anger or pain. The negative energy that your thoughts emanate will feed the pain body and drain your energy. As you continue to feed the pain body the frequency and the magnetic field of your pain body gets stronger and will attract you to people, places, times, things and events that resonate with your unresolved pain and will be perfect scenarios for the pain body to become active once again and have a bonanza from your negative thoughts and emotional reactions.
Every person has a pain body, some have lighter pain bodies and others have heavier pain bodies with a lot of etheric mass accumulated in them. Depending on the frequency of your pain body you will attract people with similar pain bodies: family members, co-workers, strangers and romantic relationships. The pain body knows what buttons to push on other people to get them to react and activate their own pain bodies. Remember that the pain body seeks more pain and when someone else is in a state of pain, drama and suffering (especially when its an argument) your pain body will cease the opportunity to siphon their energy field and extract their pain. For this very reason the pain body will seek intimate relationships where the other partner has the same or very similar emotional and mental triggers as you. At first the pain body will lie dormant, letting you fall in love and believe this is the perfect relationship. Unbeknownst to you the pain body is patiently waiting until a stronger commitment is established like moving in together or getting married occurs before it can make its more frequent and intense appearances.
The way pain bodies work in relationships is that one person’s pain body will activate and trigger the other person’s pain body. Now both partners are unconsciously reacting and creating drama, the pain body has taken over them and now you have two pain bodies talking to each other and siphoning each others pain. After the pain bodies have had enough pain to eat, they will go dormant and allow the partners to kiss and make up. Despite the promises and efforts to never fight again like that, the pain bodies will keep them in this relationship karmic loop where the same dysfunctional painful energy dynamic will keep happening over and over again.
How then can someone transcend their pain body? Eckhart Tolle shares that a way to transcend the pain body is to become present and adopt a state of witness consciousness where you don’t identify with the thoughts and emotions generated by the pain body. Presence allows the stuck energy to flow and assists in releasing the old pain. The predicament with relying solely on your ability to become and remain present once the pain body is activated is that the very nature of the pain body is to GET YOU IN A STATE OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. Ask anyone who has attempted to become present while the pain body is activated and they will tell you it is quite a challenge. It is definitively possible yet it’s something that can take years to master.
However there is another more effective and rapid way to transcend the pain body. Because the pain body its made up from old past painful and traumatic experiences, you can actually energetically transmute and dis-engage these past painful experiences that have spawned the pain body in the first place. Using advanced energy healing techniques and with your Higher Self’s guidance we can permanently and completely heal, transmute and resolve the layers of the pain body, allowing you to gain the wisdom from those experiences and prevent you from reacting unconsciously in the first place. Because the energy of that event is no longer in your field then it simply cannot become activated once again. The more past painful and traumatic experiences you are able to heal and transmute the less pain is accumulated and the less unconscious re-actions you will experience. This means that people won’t be able to push your buttons, you can remain present even when their own pain bodies are activated and keep the integrity of your energy field. In addition the negative thoughts that might come to your awareness will no longer hold the power to take over you and you can simply remain detached and shift your focus to higher frequency thoughts, once again allowing you to remain in a state of conscious presence.