Men, Commitment & Emotional Attraction
Hello Lovely Goddesses,
I thought for this blog I would make a list of the most important ideas and philosophies about men and commitment. With that said, I will also note important points about a process called “emotional attraction” because it is the main ingredient in how and why a man commits to a particular woman. All of the things listed below are what I used to turn my emotionally unavailable man into the most dedicated, loyal, and loving man. See our wedding pic above. :)
I know emotional attraction is a bit of an elusive term. It actually refers to how deeply you connect to a man’s heart and how you make a man feel around you and within a relationship. High emotional attraction plus physical chemistry leads to commitment (if a man feels you are his dream girl.)
So, here are some important things to ponder on your Goddess journey. Please note, I repeat many points in order to exaggerate and emphasize these ideas in the hopes that if you hear them over and over and in different ways, they will sink in deeper. :)
What you need to know about men and commitment:
Every man has the potential to love greatly. It is the woman in front of him that will trigger his fear or his loyalty and love. A woman also has the ability to determine which side of a man’s personality comes forward. If her unresolved fears surface regularly in the relationship, she will likely bring out his emotional unavailability and drive him away.
Men will commit to a woman they feel they can make happy. A woman they can be successful with. A woman who triggers his hero archetype. A woman who fully accepts his flaws and gives him the grace to do better. A woman who sees the positive in him. A woman who does not blame nor criticize him. A woman who works on her own issues, preventing her fears and negative emotional patterns from sabotaging the relationship.
Men are first attracted to the physical aspects of a woman. What makes them commit to a particular woman long-term is the emotional attraction.
A woman cultivates emotional attraction by learning to control and navigate her own emotions without drama, blame, or victimhood.
A man will commit to a woman he feels chemistry with and who he feels is easy to lead and love.
Men are attracted to a woman’s energy. Her softness, playfulness, sensuality, acceptance of herself and the man in her life, her own emotional fulfillment, and happiness.
Men want to feel heroic, capable, and confident in their ability to make their women happy. A man will commit to a woman that he feels his best self around.
“Men want to feel heroic, capable, and confident in their ability to make their women happy. A man will commit to a woman that he feels his best self around.”
The harder a man must work to not lose you, the more valuable you become to him. Men put more value on things that they have to work for. This is why you should not emotionally invest in a man and/or sleep with him too soon.
If the man in your life is hot and cold and won’t commit, you do not have to leave, but you do have to work on yourself and get to a place where leaving is an option. Knowing that you have this choice has immense power and sends a message to a man that you value yourself.
You must ask yourself, “Am I waiting for him to commit at all cost?” or “Am I dating him to see if he is what I truly want?” Men lose interest in women that wait exclusively for them while they are still exploring their options with other women.
A woman wanting but not needing a relationship triggers a feeling inside a man of deep desire. THIS IS HUGE!
Men are very intuitive. They can sense desperation within days of getting to know a woman.
Men don’t chase women who are chasing them.
A woman should feel comfortable continuing to date others until the man she is dating offers her a monogamous relationship. If he doesn’t ask, then he doesn’t want it with you. Collect your dignity and find a man that wants you above all else.
Men mean what they say. If he says he is not ready for a relationship, that is what he means. If you push or try to manipulate him, he will move further away from you. You do not have to dump him, but you must stop investing more than he is.
A man’s emotional timeline is usually much slower than a woman’s. A high-value woman will respect a man’s relationship timeline. If he is taking too long a high-value woman will not beg or complain. She will go look somewhere else for what she wants.
Never try to convince a man to commit to you. He will lose his attraction to you and instantly downgrade your value in his mind.
“Never try to convince a man to commit to you. He will lose his attraction to you and instantly downgrade your value in his mind.”
A high-value woman will not initiate “the talk” to see where the relationship is going. She will focus on herself and keep her options open until a man she fancies claims her.
When a man feels chemistry, emotional attraction, and emotional safety with a woman, he will move mountains to be with her.
A masculine man loves to commit to a woman who is magnetic, alluring, passionate, vulnerable, able to manage her emotions, and who allows a masculine man to lead.
It is not that a man does not like emotions. He simply craves a woman who is highly in tune with her emotions but does not lose control of them. A man does not want to feel like he is walking on eggshells with a woman. He does not want to feel like every little thing will upset her.
A high-value feminine woman does not take things personally. She does not feel slighted by every little thing a man does. She understands that it is her perception of things that determine how she feels (fear or love.)
A man commits to a woman who can share her fears in a vulnerable way that does not make him wrong or the bad guy. A woman that takes 100% responsibility for her feelings.
A man feels an emotional attraction to a woman that takes responsibility for her own peace and happiness above all else. He feels motivated to make her happy because he knows she does not depend on him to fill her cup. She is already full of her own self-love - he just adds to it.
“He feels motivated to make her happy because he knows she does not depend on him to fill her cup. She is already full of her own self-love - he just adds to it”
A man commits to a woman who he knows is independent in her heart. She has a life outside of him and her own passions that bring her fulfillment.
More about what you should know about emotional safety and attraction:
Give a man emotional safety and he will give you intimacy and commitment.
Creating emotional safety means controlling your thoughts and emotions in a way that does not blame a man nor make him responsible for your feelings. It means understanding your triggers without dumping negative feelings on your man.
A man wants a woman’s positive loving energy in his life. This does not mean a woman cannot have negative emotions. In fact, a man loves feminine vulnerability. It is how she expresses and communicates her negative emotions that make all the difference.
Men fall in love with you because of how you make them feel.
Emotional attraction happens when a man feels so good around you that he is motivated to put your feelings and needs first. This pushes him into deeper aspects of his mature masculine energy.
“Your feminine energy is an alchemical force for the masculine.”
A Goddess never loses control of her emotions. She knows how to open her heart and share her emotional world with a man in a vulnerable way that draws him in.
Know the difference between a Goddess and a doormat. Doormats engage in pleasing behaviors to avoid their negative feelings. A Goddess, or high-value feminine woman, knows the energies of her heart very intimately and rarely takes things personally. She is more concerned with her inner work than needing her man to fix her.
Men that are labeled “emotionally unavailable” are often just scared of the drama a particular woman will bring into their lives. If they feel emotional safety, they may become available if you are a woman they want
Ask yourself – Are you a safe haven for your man or a dramatic, negative space? If you are a negative space, work on healing your negative beliefs and connecting to the love inside of you.
Men can lose emotional attraction to a woman when she pursues him, moves too quickly, and is too needy, controlling, or anxious.
Men perceive neediness as control, and it feels restrictive. This is in direct opposition to their instinct for freedom.
Emotional safety for a man is when he knows his woman will love deeply in the relationship but will never allow him to destroy her life. She will never give him too much emotional power. Therefore, he continues to step up as a man. THIS IS GOLD!
“Emotional safety for a man is when he knows his woman will love deeply in the relationship but will never allow him to destroy her life. She will never give him too much emotional power.”
Emotional safety for a man is when he knows his woman will put the relationship before her own fears and insecurities. She has made her unconscious fears and negative beliefs about love conscious and is working on healing.
Emotional safety is when a man feels safe with a vulnerable woman who shows him it is okay to reveal his tender side.
Emotional Safety is when a woman is able to create an emotional connection. This is developed day by day and moment by moment through having positive experiences with each other. It is not built with words but with energy and positive emotions over time.
So, there you have it!!! I hope you caught the vibe of what I am trying to say. Remember, this work is not easy. It takes a warrior Goddess spirit to heal and create a beautiful relationship with a man. The beauty of the design is that the more you work on these principles, the more you heal yourself and in turn, become a vessel of love for a man who will lay his life down to protect, cherish, and provide for you. The rewards are well worth it.
Much Love,
Malena xoxo
Instagram: @artoflovingaman