Lean Back - Watch Your Mind and Feel your Feelings

Hello Goddess Friends,

As much of a fairytale my life seems to be these last few weeks have been a stark reminder that I am still evolving and still have triggers to clear in my relationship with El Guapo (my husband). With that said, the good news is that because of all the work I have done healing and becoming aware of my unhealthy patterns, these activated triggers barely have had any negative effect on my relationship. (This is the Goddess way.)

“I am still evolving”

I don’t know if it is the eclipse season or some other astrological event, but lately, I have had my buttons pressed pretty intensely. This recent trigger activation has led me to seek out a deeper understanding of the ego mind and its endless role in the destruction of intimate relationships. The immense amount of suffering we experience from the thoughts we think is ridiculous and my desire to find a way out of this mess is relentless.

“The immense amount of suffering we experience from the thoughts we think is ridiculous”

So, how did I manage my triggers you ask? Well, in order to simplify things, I have narrowed it down to two very important healing processes - Feeling your pain to transmute it and developing the witness in order to watch your mind instead of engaging its negative story.

#1) FEELING WORK

The feeling work is always at the heart of healing. When your triggers hit, you need to relax your shoulders, take a deep breath, and go into your body. This is helpful because right away, it takes energy away from the painful story/pattern your mind is pulling you into. When your focused attention is directed into the pockets of stored painful emotional energy, it heals these old painful patterns. This old pain only wants a moment to be felt so it can leave and that is why you do this “feeling work.”

Your mind and the story it has created around your trigger are actually a defense to being in the present moment and feeling your pain. Thus, the way out is to deal with the painful energy.

In order to do the feeling practice - You focus on your body and relax as much as possible. Focus on where you feel the discomfort and feel the sensations. You can use, “I feel” statements to help you. See some examples from clients below:

I feel my heart is on fire, I feel my chest is collapsing, I feel my lungs are heavy like steel, I feel there is a tornado in my heart, I feel there are 100 wasps in my chest, I feel someone is stabbing me in the chest, I feel like my lungs are being tied in knots, I feel like I have two elephants sitting on my chest, I feel like I’ve been shot with shotgun in my chest, I feel my heart is wrapped in heavy chains, I feel like I am in a box underwater, I feel like a bowling ball is in my stomach.

“Your mind and the story it has created around your trigger are actually a defense to being in the present moment”

This is heavy duty feeling awareness work I am talking about. You do this instead of letting your mind try to fix it with a negative story and over-analyzing. This allows you to dive into the present moment and see what the trigger brings up energetically in your body. Feel the pain so the pain can leave. It doesn’t actually leave though it gets transmuting back to light (Shakti) by your awareness/consciousness/focused attention. This light energy is the elixir of life. It lifts you even higher than before.

“Feel the pain so the pain can leave”

#2) THE WITNESS

Now as for watching your mind, this can be a difficult concept to grasp. Basically, there is your programmed mind that is like a computer just spitting out thoughts tainted with your past and then there is the you that is watching it all unfold. This other “you" is the silent witness. It is the divine you, the part of you that is all loving and knowing. This witness can watch your thoughts and stories. It can also watch your triggers. This witness does not have to engage or fix things. It prefers to be in the present moment and feel. The witness watches and knows it is not in your best interest to follow what the mind says or how it is moving you to react.

The best advice I can give you when triggered is to feel deeply, just watch, and don’t try to fix it. The energy knows what to do on it’s own. It will move along if you get out of its way.

Remember - More feelings, less thoughts. More “I feel” statements, less story. More witness, less reaction.

I know this was deep, but deep is necessary to heal and share love effortlessly with your beloved. Deep is also necessary to create the deep oasis of healing love a good masculine man will be drawn to and never want to be without.

P.S. I feel wonderful, clear, and flowing after all those triggers. This stuff works!

Much Love,

Malena xoxo

theartoflovingaman.com

Instagram: @artoflovingaman

For one-on-one Relationship Coaching services, contact me at: theartoflovingaman@gmail.com

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