There are so many things to consider when thinking about what makes a relationship great. The thing that keeps coming up for me is how vital it is to use direct, clear, non-blaming communication with your man. It can turn a potentially bad situation into a loving connection. It works like magic! When I feel negative emotion between me and El Guapo the first thing I do is feel into my heart and find a way to clearly, directly and softly communicate my feelings. I do this without expecting him to do anything to fix me and I do this with the intention of connecting not attacking or criticizing him. Sometimes I am stumped as I stand there and all I can think of are words that scream "It's your fault." Yet, I breathe, switch my perception (from it's your fault to how can we connect) and choose my words wisely. When I do it right I am always amazed at how open and loving he becomes, even when the situation is tough. A Goddess communicates to connect with her man's heart and she reveals to him her inner world and vulnerable feelings. This is the power of the Feminine. We Feel, We Love, We Open our hearts and connect. See Relationship Coach, Rori Raye's guide below.

Much Love,

Malena

FIVE TOOLS TO HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP YOU WANT

by Rori Raye www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant

1.THE RORI RAYE MANTRA

~Trust Your Boundaries ~Follow Your Feelings~ Choose Your Words~ Be Surprised~ I trust my boundaries – I trust myself: I know I will not knowingly toss my pearls before swine, throw myself into the path of destruction, hide from the truth, go along with or tolerate something that is damaging to me. Now I can move to my feelings. I follow my feelings – I follow my emotions around my body and into my heart because they are my compass in the world. I love my feelings and know that I must go where I am, be where I am, feel what I feel, and go through the feeling if I want to feel better. Now I can speak. I choose my words – I am committed to clear, direct, feeling based communication. I honor my feelings by expressing them from my heart without trying to influence or attack my man. If I choose, now I can let go of the result. I allow every moment to be a surprise – I don’t have to know every outcome, I don’t have to manage every situation, I don’t have to make sure everything goes the way I want, and I absolutely don’t have to know what my man is going to say or do next. Because I know what I will not tolerate, because I can feel what I feel, because I’ve stated clearly what I feel and don’t want, I can let go of control.

3. STOP ROWING THE RELATIONSHIP BOAT

I use the word Over functioning to describe working so hard in a relationship: Giving, leading, stepping in, rescuing and doing stuff that your man is supposed to be doing. Stopping Over functioning is the fastest way to get connected to a man. When you stop leading, you get to experience how it feels to follow: Sometimes it feels wonderful, sometimes it’s disappointing, and sometimes it’s scary. Are you always feeling drained by your relationships, as though you’re the one always rowing the relationship boat? Well, I’m going to ask you to stop rowing. To actually put down the oars, sit back in the boat and enjoy the ride. If your man is at all capable, he’ll pick up the oars and start rowing all by himself, without you asking him, directing him, pleading with him, or explaining why he should.

4. APPRECIATE MEN

Sometimes, we get so used to complaining, finding fault, and looking at the downside of men, we can’t even give the man in front of us a chance. If you’re with a man now, when he does something you like - anything, even something small, something so tiny you would normally dismiss it - say “Thank You.” If you’re dating, focus on who the man sitting next to you watching a movie, or sitting across the table from you trying to carry on a conversation, or standing in front of you awkwardly trying to get up the courage to walk over and start a conversation, actually is – instead of focusing on how he’s already not measuring up to your “Dream Man.”

5. APPRECIATE YOURSELF

Men can’t love us for what we do. They love us for who we are. And most of us still haven’t made peace with who we really are. In fact, most of us have spent our lives figuring out how to keep people at a distance, rather than how to draw people in closer. And often, we deliberately keep the men who would love us the most and make us the happiest as far away from our hearts as we can. Use the Rori Raye Mantra and Translations to speak from your heart and let good men in. Invite them in. Trust yourself to follow what feels good to you – not necessarily what feels thrilling and exciting and dramatic – but what feels warm and, well, Good! When things feel stressful, and you want so much more than you’re getting from your man, instead of picking up the oars and rowing the boat, instead of retreating to your defenses and pushing him away, Trust Your Boundaries, Follow Your Feelings, Choose the Feeling Words of the Rori Raye Translations, and then, Be Surprised. You may find your man picking up the relationship oars, leaning in toward you, turning off the television to pursue you into the kitchen, asking for a commitment, or rekindling the fire of what you thought was a dead marriage. Believe that you deserve what you dream of. Appreciate yourself rather than asking your man to appreciate you. Give to yourself instead of giving to him. Treat yourself like a Queen, and so will he.

Love, Rori

How a Goddess Communicates to Her Man

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