Lean Back, Open your Heart and Love Yourself
ART: SIR HUBERT VON HERKOMER
Sometimes I feel like I am living in a fairy tale. I am loved, adored and cherished by a very handsome, successful, masculine man (El Guapo). He treats me like a Queen and lives to make me happy. He stays emotionally connected to me and always wants to spend time with me and give energy to the relationship. He buys me gifts and makes me laugh. He is tender and kind and speaks loving words everyday. I so strongly want to encourage women to learn the "The Art of Loving a Man" so they too can have such a beautiful experience being in a relationship with a man. Sometimes I don't know where to start trying to teach this long lost art. The secrets of a Goddess are many and very much alive. I know the first place to begin is to share that it is a woman's relationship to herself and her darker feelings that will ultimately offer her liberation from dysfunctional relationships. You see, the fastest way to push a man away is to have unresolved emotional issues that are constantly being put onto him and the relationship. It may seem like he is the cause of your horrible feelings, but I promise you these dark feelings existed inside you long before you met him. He just happens to trigger them now. So what is a woman to do when she wants a healthy loving relationship? She begins with learning the ebb and flow of the energies within her own heart. She begins to feel the deep pain of the past without blaming him. She learns not to take things personal and uses the triggers as opportunities to heal. She learns to tolerate her pain so it can slowly dissipate. Emotional pain from the past only needs your awareness and focus. Once you shed the light of awareness on your emotional pain it transmutes back to light energy. This is the difficult work of healing. This is the path to great love. This is when relationships get juicy. This is when a woman can offer love, warmth and openness because her heart is pure. It has been cleansed of the past. This is when a man gets hooked on your enchanting presence. It is all about the emotional environment you offer a man. This is what draws him in or pushes him away. If you are afraid that you have already pushed him away for good- don't worry, it's never too late. Check out the article below by wonderful Relationship Coach, Rori Raye (www.havetherelationshipyouwant.com). Be patient with yourself and soon you will join the world of Enchantresses and Goddesses. These are the women that hold the keys to the hearts of great men.
Much Love,
Malena
Is Your Man Slipping Away? Here's What To Do
By Rori Raye
The main problem women write to me about is that the man they love has suddenly pulled away - sometimes for good. If you've experienced this or are going through it right now and you want to get your boyfriend back, you know how painful, hopeless and frustrating it feels.
Your first instinct is an urge to lean forward and do whatever you can to keep your man from slipping away. And I'm going to tell you that you need to let him go, as horrible as this sounds. You need to let him go, because if he is the right man for you, you can get your boyfriend back with the three steps I'm about to go into. If he's NOT the right man for you, then here's the news you will appreciate down the road when you DO meet Mr. Right - he did you a favor by going away, and you learned something incredibly valuable in the process. So here are my three steps on how to get your boyfriend back:
Step 1: Lean Back
The very first thing you need to do to get your boyfriend back is resist the powerful urge to run after him, call him, text him, send messages to him via friends and family, or show up at his door. As I said above, this is going to feel really difficult, but you MUST do it if there is any hope that you will get your boyfriend back.
We women tend to think that giving and giving to a man will bring him closer. And this includes doing things like checking up on him to see how he's doing. It's what I call “overfunctioning”. Don't do it! A man is accustomed to valuing what he has to work for, so if you put in effort and make it easy for him, he will actually value you less. We work hard because we think that if we don't he'll assume we don't care enough about him, and he'll go away. But this is simply untrue. If you lean back and let go of the reigns, you give your boyfriend the chance to see what it feels like to be without you, and if he's worth it you will get your boyfriend back. Remember this: men commit to you not because they want to be with a woman, but because they can't stand to be WITHOUT you. Let him feel what it's like NOT to have you in his life.
Step 2: Open Your Heart
The next thing I want you to do is to stop running from your painful emotions and embrace them. We women tend to stuff down our emotions for fear that a man will get scared by them and run away. But the real truth is that men LOVE our emotional nature - it's drama that they can't tolerate. When we learn to get in touch with our feelings and express them in a non-judging, non-critical way, a man will not feel blamed and will feel COMPELLED to open his heart to you.
And you don't need a man in your life to learn how to do this. Instead, practice “framing your feelings” with everyone you meet and even on your own. Start right now by asking yourself what you feel. Then say it out loud. Say, “I feel shaky,” or “I feel sad,” or “I feel happy just looking at that flower over there.” Practice this everywhere you go, and it will become natural to you in days. Then when you talk to the man you love, use this new way of expressing your feelings. You'll notice a miraculous change in the way he connects to you and opens his heart.
Step 3: Love Yourself
Right now, remember how you were when you and your boyfriend first met. Where you obsessing about him? Where you calling him incessantly? Of course not. Chances are, you were focused on your OWN LIFE, and this was very attractive to him.
Take this opportunity to get back in touch with you and fall in love with the woman who attracted him rather than spending your time thinking about how to get your boyfriend back. Get busy with your friends, your interests, and the things that make you YOU. Remember: you can lose a man, but you can NEVER lose yourself. If this man is worthy of you and is the right man for you, I guarantee that when he sees you are focusing on your own life he will realize what he's missing.
Keep leaning back, opening your heart, loving yourself… if he's Mr Right, you'll get your boyfriend back.