Do His Feelings Matter?

I think it is important to be aware of yourself and really look at how much you discount the feelings of the man in your life. How often do we railroad right over our man's needs and experiences by making our own more important?  When our feelings get hurt, it is like a certain type of tunnel vision washes over us. This narrow focus only allows us to see what we are feeling and what we need from a man to make our uncomfortable feelings go away. We don't have the emotional capacity to be compassionate toward his feelings. I think this is very disheartening for a man in a relationship. In fact it is a big determinant in whether he decides to commit to a particular woman. A man does not say it, but he is aware of whether a woman creates a balance in the relationship. Does she offer up space for his feelings and respect his needs or does she make things always and only about herself. This is such an important key in The Art of Loving a Man. A woman who has control over her emotions and fears can allow space for her man and accept his reality which in turn sends him the message of respect (his deep unconscious need). He will feel a deep emotional attraction to this woman for this reason. Yet, if a woman is not in touch with her own feelings and fears and is so full of anxiety and discomfort that she only uses the relationship to temper her wounds he will feel a deep lack of respect and withdraw. Like I say all the time, men are very intuitive and they know very quickly which woman you are.  So the answer always remains the same - do the hard and difficult work of healing your own heart and leave him out of it. He is not your problem. The problem is the unhealed broken energies that get kicked up and surface when he pushes your buttons. He did not create those energies, he was just sent to you to stir them up so you can take on the responsibility to see them and heal them. A person that is doing their own healing work can always make room and space for another persons feelings and experiences and a true Goddess knows how to do this in a soft, sweet and loving way. 

Much Love,

Malena